Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Do Drunken Words Really Speak Sober Thoughts?

We've all done it.  Gotten so sorority girl/fraternity boy wasted, that we just started spewing crap out of our mouths like freedom of speech was just declared a right.  In instances where you can't say what you really want, for fear that people may judge you or because you're to much of a coward to be honest, you take advantage of what's called "liquid courage". I've had it, you've had it, we've all had it.  For some reason liquor tends to open up a can of worms (or words) that just can't be shut.  People under the influence tend to just say and do the utmost stupidest things they can "think" of.  But do the words you say in a drunken stupor always speak some type of truth?  The old saying goes, "Drunken Words, Speak Sober Thoughts".  But is that always the case?  In my humble opinion, I think it depends on the person and the situation.  I'm usually a happy drunk so I say things sometimes, that I don't mean just to make people feel better or for entertainment purposes. Then there are the times where I have said or done something's that were due in huge part too being a little buzzed.  Cartwheels for instances. Not a good luck for the drunk.  And then I've also said things in the heat of the moment because I was upset, and wanted the other person to be upset too; yes I can be a bit of an a-hole.
An example of using "liquid courage" as a slight boost to do something or say something out of character is Karaoke.  I love to Karaoke, but I can never get up and just belt a few lines in front of strangers or friends.  But give me a Stoli & Red Bull and this girl thinks she's Christina Aguilera performing for Simon Cowell. I AM THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL!!! More like American Idiot, but I digress.  Another example is once I confessed to an old boss how much I hated my job and if it weren't for her I wouldn't have stayed on for as long as I had.  Yea, can you say, EMBARRASSING!  Then I have examples where I just said something to say it.  For instance, once I was out with a group of girls, one of which had recently broken up with her boyfriend.  Now I did not much care for this person, and knowing her history with others and how bitchy she was, I was actually kind of glad about her break up.  And yes that's a horrible thing to say, but at the moment it's how I felt.  However when she was bitching and crying over this boy, I was totally agreeing with her.  I told her she was a beautiful, smart and a great woman and that anyone would be lucky to have her.  I guess when you're drunk, it's easy to keep a serious face.  I mean, I didn't believe any of what I was saying to her in my real "sober" life, in anyway shape or form.  I was just jumping on the supportive band wagon with the other girls.  But 'til this day, I think, no chick, you're a jerk and that's why you got dumped. AND YOU'RE NOT CUTE.  Again, not the nicest thing to think, but the girl was just... she just wasn't nice. I guess its a "you had to be there" kind of thing.
Now while I'm a happy little drunk, as I mentioned previously, I do have a tendency to unleash verbal assults on people, if I'm angered by something or someone...Side Note: Drinking while being very emotional, does not make for a happy person... Recently while out, I got into an argument with a friend.  Now this person really didn't say anything horrible to upset me, but I did take some words from our conversation out of context.  So of course as the night progressed and the free drinks were flowing, words like "I love your makeup!" turned into "Eww, you look like a whore".  So like the glutton for punishment I am, I proceeded to do the old drunk text (similar to the drunk dial. Oh technology, how you've helped us in our crusade to make bigger fools of ourselves than we ever have before. Because now our drunken words are SAVED! What Joy. What Bliss. What HORROR!).  In the midst of my exorcism moment I said things there were cruel, nasty and just plain silly.  So because I was in a mood, I thought, why the hell not, you be in a mood too!  And in actuality, my "angry" mood was due to my own delusions; I'd just made something up in my head for no reason. Hey, what can I say, I'm good at creating stories, hence the blogging. LOL.
So I've done both.  I've done things and said things I would probably never say or do because I wasn't brave enough, because of a little booze.  And I've done and said things I wouldn't ever say or do, because I was liquored up and either felt like being a jerk just because, felt like entertaining people or felt like following the crowd.  Again, I think it depends on the person, situation, and maybe just how many drinks you've consumed.  But hey, if we take it a step fruther, maybe liquor brings out a fear or concern you didn't even know you had, and that's where words come from.  But then again, maybe I'm giving booze just a little too much credit.  So what do you think?  Does liquor become a truth serum that helps you reveal your real feelings?  If so, can it be used as an excuse when maybe you've gone too far?  If not, and liquor is just a good time drink, then why do people always act stupid when intoxicated?  Maybe liquor just triggers whatever button at the moment is dying to be pressed in your head, and causes a person to fly off the deep end or do something completely embarrassing, whether they've meant too or not?  I'd love your feedback friends.
Happy Blogging All!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

They're Dead. Now What?

Being in a relationship, whether its Boyfriend & Girlfriend or Marriage, is a beautiful thing.  The bond between to people who are truly "in love" (sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little at the "love" part) is something many people don't really get a chance to experience in their life time.  I suppose you could say it's a blessing of sorts, to be able to just focus on one person. Share your secrets, dreams and fantasies with them.  To be completely open with someone, knowing they will never judge you, and will always support you.  So with such a special and powerful gift like this, what is one to do when that person who makes there life worth while, is no longer there?  I'm single now, but when I have been in a relationship (long term of course) I've always had this morbid need to ask the person I'm seeing how long they would wait to begin dating if I died the next day.  I'd like to think I'm so fabulous that no one would never be able to compare to me.  Therefore leaving my poor significant other left to life of solitude, until he sees me again in the great beyond.  What? Too much you say.  Okay, so maybe if we're just dating he can move on... I guess.   But what about if we're married?  Can I be demanding about the "move on" situation then?
So how long do you think a spouse should wait before moving on?  Should they move on at all?  And what if there are children involved.  Should this new person be called mommy/daddy 2?  Or should they wait until those children are of an age where they can take care of themselves, to start getting their groove back again?  I know it's selfish to say, "Well if I'm dead, you shouldn't want to be with anyone ever again."  Because lets face it, no one wants to be alone forever, no matter what loner personality they have.  But it hurts to think that after such a beautiful relationship, they could even consider finding someone else to pick up the pieces.  So yes, I'd love to think no one will come after me, but the chances of that being a reality are about none.  So what I would expect as a compromise is for my picture to hang all around on dressers, walls, etc, voice recordings of yours truly to play throughout the house, and for you to wear my ashes around your neck.  I mean, come on, I don't think that's too much to ask... Right?... Alright, I went a little creepy psycho gal there for a moment.  But in all honestly, I'd like for the person to at least remember me and not throw me to the wind when the next best thing comes along. 
I guess depending how long you were together, should help you gage how long you should mourn.  For example, if you were dating for a year, then you should wait 4 years. LOL.  Okay, maybe that's too much, but you know what I mean.  You have to give it enough time to not only show respect to the deceased, but to show respect to that relationship.  Plus, show respect to the next person coming in.  I don't know how comfortable I would be dating someone who tells me there girlfriend/wife just died two months ago.  I'd wonder if they're over it, or if they were ever "on it" to begin with.  Now I have tons of readers who are not only in relationships, but also married, so I'd love to hear your input on this. Come on! Inquiring minds really wanna know! 

Happy Blogging All!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Semi Wordless Wednesday

Shy Violet, Rainbow Brite & Patty O' Green

These little ladies are my babies! They sit in the corner of my room on my dresser and every time I look at them I smile and remember that once upon on a time, the simplest thing like my dolls, is what made me happy.

Happy Blogging All!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

10th Annual Jif® Peanut Butter Contest

I think it's safe to say that I hate to cook.  In fact, I'm not really even sure I know how to cook.  You're talking about a girl who could easily ruin boiling water.  Yes, readers, it's that serious.  So in the times I've had to fend for myself, I have had to find simple yet fulfilling things that I can munch on to feed my little belly.  One of my favorite dishes is the classic Peanut Butter sandwich.  Yes, just peanut butter.  Ask anyone around and they'll tell you that I am a fiend for peanut butter.  I mean what's not to love.  It's salty, it's sweet and it hits that hunger spot almost immediately.  In fact, when I get hungry right before bed, I just take a spoonful of peanut butter and it completely settles my hunger pangs.  So when I was approached to talk about this contest, I jumped at the chance.

For the past decade, The J.M. Smucker Company has held the Jif® Most Creative Peanut Butter Sandwich Contest, and this year they continue with that tradition.  Now through October 12th 2011, children ages 6 to 12,  can enter to win a $25,000 college fund all by becoming culinary geniuses and using their creativity with one of the simplest ingredients we find in our kitchen: PEANUT BUTTER!  Also to mark the 10th anniversary of the contest, this year's Grand Prize Winner will also receive an additional $10,000 for educational products.  And when they say creative, they certainly mean it.  Last year's winner, Margalit M of Raleigh, NC, 8 years old, created "Wushu Chicken Tacos".  It combined a drizzle of spicy peanut sauce made with Jif Creamy Peanut Butter with chicken, asparagus and squash wrapped in a tortilla.  Now that sounds AMAZING!

Submissions of each imaginative recipe can be entered at www.jif.com and www.jifenespanol.com or by completing the downloadable entry form available on both websites.  All sandwiches will be judged on creativity, taste, nutritional balance, visual appeal and ease of preparation.  So leave the idea of perfection behind, because this is all about kids using their noggin's to be truly unique and inventive!  Qualified entrants, who submit their entry in the first six weeks of the call of entries, will receive a Jif Back to School gift pack while supplies last - provided the entry is submitted online or postmarked by September 1, 2011 and received by September 8, 2011.  Ten semifinalists will be posted on both websites to take part in a nationwide online vote in January 2012.  Anyone aged 13 and older can vote to help select the five finalists, who will go on to compete in New York in March 2012!

Entries for the Jif® Most Creative Peanut Butter Sandwich Contest must be postmarked by October 12, 2011 and received no later than October 19, 2011.  Online entries must be submitted by 11:59 a.m. on October 12, 2011.  For complete details, official rules and the entry form for the tenth annual contest, visit www.jif.com and www.jifenespanol.com.  The Jif® Most Creative Peanut Butter Sandwich Contest is open to legal residents of the 50 United States and D.C. between six and 12 years of age by October 12, 2011.  Void where prohibited.

And there's more!  This year they'll also be conducting a separate contest which invites peanut butter fans across America to enter the, "That's Why I Choose Jif" essay contest.  Fans will enter for a chance to join the judging panel at the final event in NYC, where five kid chefs will contend for the grand prize.  Fans of peanut butter can visit www.jif.com to submit an essay of 250 words or less in the "That's Why I Choose Jif" essay contest, describing how they make the best choices for their families and sharing why they choose Jif Peanut Butter.

Entries for the "That's Why I Choose Jif" essay contest must be submitted online by 11:59 a.m. on October 12, 2011.  For complete details, official rules and to enter, visit www.jif.com.  The "That's Why I Choose Jif" essay contest is open to legal residents of the 50 United States and D.C, 18 years and older.  Void where prohibited.

I think that this is a great contest and a great way to spend time with your children and show them that there is more to life than eating out and watching TV.  I always say kids nowadays need more guidance and quality time with the adults in their life, and I think a contest like this provides a great opportunity for just that.  So log on to the links and get involved.  You have nothing to lose, but maybe just a lot to gain.

You can find Jif® on Facebook or visit www.jif.com or www.jifenespanol.com for more information, tips, recipes, contests and promotions.

Happy Peanut Butter Dreams & Blogging!

Disclaimer:  While Confessions Of A Latina Loquita did receive Jif products, it did not receive any monetary compensation for this post.  Participation is completely voluntary and all opinions noted in the above are my own opinion. 

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Semi Wordless Wednesday

Only in the Ghetto... But really, does it get simpler than that? I think not!

But the above did lead to the idea of our very own, HOMEMADE, Southern Dinner!

Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes & Gravy, Corn on the Cob, Cornbread and KOOL-AID. My Momma does it up!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Monday Grievances: Office Bathroom Etiquette

****Ladies Bathroom Etiquette****
Everyday we deal with disgusting things. The subway, the buses, sneezing children (and even adults), coughing, burping, BO in the Summer time, etc.  Obviously the list goes on and on.  One of the few places you would appreciate having some sort of peace, as close to your own home, is at work.  Lets face it many of us spend 40 or more hours here, so you'd like to feel comfortable.  Unfortunately, in our society, we deal with lots of dirty little people who don't seem to have the same idea that cleanliness is close to godliness. Now if you want to keep your area messy, who cares. But when you infect community space with your filth, like the office bathrooms, then we have issues.  Here's a list of things that bug me and millions of other people in the world, about little dirty pests like you! And YOU, know who YOU are.

  • "If you sprinkle, when you tinkle, clean it up!"  I got that quote from a sign that was posted in the bathroom at my last job.  Now that sign meant nothing to the gross women there, but it had a point nonetheless.  I get it, no one likes to sit on the toilet, so you hover over it; I do it too.  But come on, you have to know that little droplets will splash back from the water, if not from your own stream.   And I know you see these little spots on the seat when you flush.  I mean are you telling me you move backwards to flush the toilet, so you don't have to see your dirty little deed? I think not. This ESPECIALLY applies if aunt flo is in town (and we're gonna get to her too).  I do not want to walk in and see what appears to be some kind of massacre on the seat.  Wipe up your messes, little Miss Nasty.
  • Courtesy Flush (I can't stress this enough).  Lets face it sometimes you just gotta go. And to say that you've never gone #2 at work, is just crazy.  Stop your lies because I can see your nose growing from here.  There's nothing to be ashamed of, 'cause when you gotta go, you gotta go.  But for the love of all that is good and holy, think of your neighbors. You poo, you flush. You poo, you flush. Are you saying this out loud? You should be.  Do you like walking into a bathroom and immediately tasting someone's funk? I didn't think so. So do the courteous thing, and flush after every poo.
  • Flush! While we're on the subject of "flushing" and being "courteous", it would be awesome, if people would flush altogether.  I can't tell you how many times I've walked into a stall and immediately walked out because someone left what appears to be a baby arm in the toilet.  Please don't say you forgot, because that's just ridiculous. I can't imagine you're pulling up your pants with your eyes closed and listening to your IPod at the same time.  Turn around, look, flush.  And if it doesn't go down after the first flush, do it again. Its not rocket science, so stop making shit complicated... See what I did there. LOL
  • Spray. Many of us have the luxury of our companies supplying the bathroom with a air freshener.  USE IT!  Take it in with you and spray while you poo.  Or if you're nervous people will recognize your shoes and the spray next to it, then see bullet point #2 "poo, flush" and when you get out,  spray.  I mean its not just for us.  I don't care what anyone says, I'm sure your own aroma doesn't intrigue you that much.  And if it does, seek help sicko.
  • Aunt Flo. Oh yes, our favorite monthly visitor.  We (as in ladies) all get her, or have gotten her, and know the hassle of running to the bathroom and taking an extra 5 minutes more in the stall prepping our "adult diapers".  Now I can't possibly believe that when you're at home, you just throw the wrappers on the floor or try to flush pads down the toilet.  And why don't you do that? Because 1. you don't (I would assume) want to live in a pigsty and 2. because you know it will clog the toilet.  So, why in the name of Christmas! would you do that at work?  This is not the bathroom at Orchard Beach, where some people just don't give a rats ass.  This is where you work. You probably spend more time at your job than you do in your own home.  So stop throwing shit all over the floor, because in about 97 percent (I'm making that percentage up) of work bathrooms there is a little "sanitary napkin" canister thingy (you know what I'm talking about) where you can easily throw away your wrappers and other unmentionables.  THAT'S WHY IT'S THERE!  Stop flushing things you know damn well will not flush and then leaving it there for the next unsuspecting victim that comes in after you, to find. Ugh, freaking cochinas!
  • Wash your hands. What is so hard about walking to the sink, putting a dab of soap on your hands and washing them.  Its absolutely disgusting to see women, especially in their 30s, 40s and so on, walk out of a stall, look at themselves in the mirror and then leave.  Even if i just go in the stall to pick a wedgie, I wash my hands.  Wash your hands you dirty dirty hamster or don't complain that you have to do Carol's work because she called out sick.  If you weren't so filthy, you wouldn't have that issue.  ALSO, I need to emphasize on that soap part.  Just because you put water on your hands, doesn't mean their clean.  It's washing your hands, not calculus. Again, stop making things so difficult.
  • Sink Clean Up. When you do wash your hands (and believe me I thank you for that) do us the favor and don't create a pool fit for Smurfs to drown in, around the sink.  I mean are you taking a bath or washing your hands?  I've seen people splash around the sink as if they're washing dishes and creating a mess.  Then when it's your turn to wash your hands, your shirt and pants are now soaked.  Again we appreciate the effort, but take it down a notch.  And while we're at it, keep the water in the sink.  I shouldn't come out of the stall and start slippin' and slidin' all over the place.
  • GET OUT.  If you're done using the bathroom and someone is in there, and you can tell (don't say you can't) they're trying to go numero dos, GET OUT!  Its not time to brush your hair, adjust your makeup, wash your fruit (yes this has happened to me!), cry about why daddy didn't love you, etc.  Everyone knows when you go to the last stall, it's serious "potty" time.  And what further gives it away that someone is trying get rid of breakfast or lunch, is that that person doesn't make a peep!  Literally they are like statues, where you have to think, "Is someone really in there?" They don't breathe, they don't move, I'm not even sure they're blinking.  Obviously they need to go and are trying to be courteous to you by not engulfing you in there fumes.  So be kind back and leave once you're done.
  • Social Hour? I get it, an hour at lunch is just not enough time to gossip about your other co-workers and nonsense.  However, the bathroom isn't really the most appropriate place to have coffee talk.  I for example, can be a "pee-shy".  So I really don't feel like hovering over the toilet for more than 5 minutes waiting for you to finish complaining about your boss and how much you hate him.  If I wanted to do squats, I'd go to the gym.  Furthermore, it's also not a phone booth.  I don't care that cousin Becky is pregnant again and she's only 17.  Take it outside, so I can use the bathroom in peace.  If I wanted entertainment, I'd bring a book.  And If you were meant to talk there, they'd set up couches and not stalls with toilets...  Continuing with this, don't start a conversations with someone using the bathroom either. Now is not the time to talk about Gary's Powerpoint presentation.  It's just weird.
  • Paper Jam.  If you see someone walking out of the stall with tissue or whatever on their shoe, please tell them.  That may be you one day, and I'm sure no one wants that image of themselves left with anyone.

Now obviously this is from my point of view; the point of view of a woman.  I don't know what's going on in the men's room.  And though I'd like to believe we're less "messy", something tells me men don't have HALF the problems we do.  So stop being dirty little pigs and start being ladies!

Happy Blogging!