Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I Pity The Fool Who Wears A Diamond Jesus

I hope you all enjoyed your long Memorial Day weekends.  Though we all get so excited for a 3 day weekend, I hope y'all took a moment to remember all of those who have fought and those still fighting for our freedom and safety. Because of that I'd like to take this moment to remember my friend Captain Ulises Burgos Cruz. You're always in our hearts and minds. May you Rest In Peace.

OK, so now that I've said my piece on that, lets get into the nitty gritty.  While I was out and about this weekend, I kept seeing something that has bugged me for years.  I had also recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about this very topic and have been wanting to blog about it, but completely forgot.  She had said that maybe it was because she grew up in Manhattan and wasn't used to seeing it, but it really threw her off; she found it really tacky. But I assured her that it had nothing to do with where she was from, because I have lived in the BX my entire life and have been enraged by this stupid fashion accessory for years.  This thing I speak of, is this:

Photo Credit 1 & 2

I can not for the life of me begin to understand what makes men (and some women) think that this is trendy and cool.  I'm sorry, but you're not a rapper (not that that's any better), you're not RUN DMC back in the 80s or any other musician/actor, because last I checked you were living in 3B of a Project Building...Before the backlash comes, I grew up in the PJs, so I'm not saying anything negative about them. Sit down. Relax...  Do you think that women are impressed that you can't feed your 3 children, but you can afford to give Jesus Christ ruby eyes and a diamond crown of thorns?  I'm certainty not. Hell, you can't even remember to put deodorant on before you leave your house, but that chain wakes up with you.  First of all, you're just screaming for a crackhead to run up on you and snatch it from your neck. You live in the Ghetto fool!  And keep telling yourself they won't get you. They're crackheads! They have nothing to fear.  Secondly, besides the fact that you look like a complete lunatic, that chain is clearly weighing down on your neck or you wouldn't be holding it up and swinging it back and forth.  You're not fooling anyone when you rub the back of your neck as if it itches, but really your rubbing the spot where that weight is pulling down on.  I can't believe how many times I saw this little trend over the weekend.  One guy really made me laugh because it was like a black plate with a novel written on it. There was so much writing, it looked like those signs criminals hold up when they take a mug shot. Which come to think of it, it could've very well been. Maybe it was his way of keeping that memory alive.  And then some of these dudes get characters, like a Pokemon design or Mickey Mouse. Great, please keep giving our children more reasons to want to be like your hood rat behinds; they see the Kool-Aid man lit up in rubies and think it's cool. Its not! And it aggravates me so much.  You want to do this when you're 19, fine, be stupid. Spend your money like it's water, I'll let you slide. But seriously, once you're past the age of 25 (and I'm being loose with that age), you need to get your act together.
And ladies don't think you're getting away scott free either. It's not cute to wear multiple gold and silver chains around your neck. At least pick one; gold or silver.  All those chains make me look at you and fantasize about choking the life out of you...What? To violent?... Also do not wear multiple hoops in every size you could find in your jewelry box or the huge ones that look like door knockers. You look fucking STUPID!  I totally agree with John Leguizamo's Asian character in Mambo Mouth when he said that a gust of wind will come and knock your ass over. Which after looking at some of you chicks, I think that's exactly what needs to happen, so you'll stop with these fashion faus pas'.  Rings are also on my list.  I get you want to look nice, but having a ring on every finger, is just ridiculous.  Are you a gypsy?  Listen Esmeralda, unless you're going to whip out fortune cards & tell me my fortune, limit it down to two.  AND belly rings. Yes, I have one. Sure, they're cute. Whats not cute? Having one of those huge ones that dangle, so when you get up, it gets caught in your belt and the whole party hears you yelp like a dog who's been stepped on.  I do find amusement in your pain, since you're obviously an idiot. But I don't find amusement in your blood splattering everywhere because you've ripped your belly button... AND while we're on the subject of "faus pas" ladies, I'd like to add in something, not jewelry related. STOP with the coochie cutter shorts. I should not be able to tell that you're 2 centimeters dilated and you're having a girl.  I should also not have to see how red the inside of your thighs are because they're obviously rubbing together in the heat. You know it hurts and its uncomfortable. And it makes me hurt and uncomfortable looking at it.  Also, if you're going to wear black spandex, that are clearly more stockings than tights, do me the favor, DO NOT WEAR WHITE UNDERWEAR! Cochinas!.... I figured I'd get that topic out of the way while we're here as well... But I'm sure I'll write about it again in the future. :)

So listen to me you fake ass Mr. T's of the world. Only one person rocked this look and he rocked it better than you; that being the real Mr. T.  Ladies know that a man will probably want to hold the back of your neck or head when he kisses you, to be romantic, and doesn't want to get caught up in your circus rings.  By the time he's gotten out of your jewelry maze, the magic probably won't be there.  And fellas, know that no respectable girl wants to be seen walking down the block with you and this monstrosity hanging off your neck.  And I'm even more sure that she doesn't want to sleep with someone who's going to slap her in the face, with Jesus' face or the cross he died on.  I don't really think the death of Christ makes anyone want to get frisky.  Nor does the image of a ThunderCat with a shield and sword.  So in the simplest of terms: Stop with the ridiculous ghetto jewelry trends. ITS STUPID!

Happy Blogging All!  

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Great Cake Debacle

MISS ME?! Well hopefully I've fixed the issue with my internet that's been affecting Google & Blogger, and I should be able to blog more frequently and you'll have to deal with me more! But anyway, I couldn't have come back at a better time, because I have a great story to tell you...

This past weekend was my best friend, Liz's, baby shower.  Now as y'all know, I'm not huge on kids, babies and all that jazz. But for some reason I'm super excited for this one.  I was especially excited because she chose to not reveal the sex of the baby until the day of the shower.  Now if you're in the "know" of current trends, then you know that there's a new one going around where the sex of the baby is revealed when the parents cut the cake.  See, if it's a girl the inside of the cake would be pink and if its a boy, blue.  So not only is it a surprise to the parents, but also their guests, who would be able to experience this joy with them.  So when Liz found out she was pregnant, she told her family that if the were to throw her a shower, this is what she'd like.  Cute idea right?  Well not when the baker is an IDIOT! Let me explain.

Her sister-in-law, Nana, was given a sealed envelope that was given to the happy parents by the doctor.  They didn't even open it!  They instructed Nana give it to the baker, never opening it herself, and only he/she would know what the sex was.  So after searching, she finally found a bakery that she knew had good tasting and looking cakes and who seemed to take pride in their work; Gino's Pastry Shop in the Bronx. After speaking to the baker and explaining what she wanted, she handed him the sealed envelope and left it his "capabale" hands.  So the day of the "big reveal" was finally here.  After greeting their guests,opening presents and everyone questioning and insisting over and over that they cut the cake, Liz and her husband decided it was time.  We all surrounded the cake as if the actual baby, not a color, was about to appear from this thing. I'm serious. Forget the Rapture, you would think Jesus himself was popping out of that cake and blessing us up into the gates of heaven, the way we looked.  So here go the happy parents to be, cutting that first slice together...

The cut to reveal what they're having!


Is it in there?...

They continued to cut and serve pieces of cake, all the while wondering if the next cut would make the big revelation.  It became obvious to all of us that that wouldn't happen. But can you blame the excited parents for thinking there might still be a chance that maybe half the cake or maybe the next tier would hide the answer?

Obviously, it did not.
At one point, they noticed writing on the panel that held the first tier.  Thinking the G they saw, stood for Girl, they tore into it more. It said...Gino!...  So of course a few people were upset, especially her sister-in-law.  So immediately Nana went outside to call the bakery.  At first there was no answer, but later she and the baker, named Jerome, began text messaging each other.  She proceeded to tell him that they had screwed up and what she ordered was NOT what she received.  He told her that he wasn't sure what had happened and she responded to him that he did not pay attention to this order as he said he would.  The instructions she gave him were very specific and where explained in person and over the phone. I mean that was the main purpose for ordering the cake; essentially they could have done it themselves, but wanted the talented hands of a professional.  He then, very arrogantly, told her that he could not talk as he was actually in the middle of being presented a prestigious award for his work and could be caught on NEWS12.  OK, are you freaking kidding me here?!  I had to see the message in which he said this, because clearly she was seeing things. But no, she wasn't, and he really did say this.  I swear, in the words of Mob Wife Drita (VH1's Mob Wives), I wanted to find this mans bakery and drive a car through it!  What professional, who takes pride in his work, would tell a customer something like this?  The audacity of him to cut her off because he's receiving some award, that I'm sure no one gives a damn about.  And to say it's for his work?  Are you sure about that?  Well I guess its obviously that award had nothing to do with customer service, because he failed miserably at that too.

Jerome, though he offered such a touching apology via text message (and if you can't read through that sarcasm, you haven't been following me long enough) ruined a very special moment for the parents and their family.  With good reason, she insisted on getting her money back and he finally agreed. However, not before he offered the following: 1. The reason they did not dye the cake was because his assistant had ordered the wrong dye. 2. He worked very hard on the outside of the cake...... OK, so now that you've read those two points over about 5 times, I'm assuming you all have the same question we did. So even though he knew he hadn't dyed the cake, he never bothered to 1. Call ahead of time to see if they even still wanted the cake since it wasn't what they originally ordered. 2. Or tell her when she picked up the cake that the main component of the cake, was missing!!!  This man and this bakery are a complete joke!  At least if Nana had been given the heads up from the bakery, she could've made a decision on whether to take it or not.  I'm sure they could've made other arrangements in regards to revealing the sex, and more than likely would've still paid for the cake. But they weren't given that option.  Did Gino's Pastry Shop really think that no one would notice the inside was just yellow and not blue or pink?  Again, the entire point of having this cake done by a bakery, was because they have experience with these types of orders and would of course be stocked with baking essentials!  Don't tell me that they don't make red velvet cupcakes there or that they don't do other types of cakes that would involve using dyes.  And the icing on the cake (pardon the pun) is when Nana went to pick up the refund, they just put it on the counter, not saying a word to her and walked away.  Thats right, they never offered her an in person explanation or apology. Yes, because that's how you keep them coming back and show you value your customers.  The nerve!  

Can you imagine going through something like this?  Having a beautiful day ruined and not even offered some type of explanation.  Writing this now, I'm still in shock and pissed off, and it wasn't even my event!  My main point of writing this blog, is to warn everyone of this bakery and in general all places where you go expecting to get a job done; whether it be a cleaners, salons, car shops, etc. I'm not saying to never buy at this bakery again, though the thought crossed my mind... OK, so to my friends, never go there again, OK? Agreed? Good. :).... You really have to be careful who you trust to do things for you, even if you are paying for it; apparently payment for a job means nothing!  I mean essentially the work done on the outside of the cake was really nice; I loved the little bees. HOWEVER when someone is paid for a specific job, you expect that said job to be done to the best of their ability.  And if it isn't done in that manner or an issue arises, then you expect to be told about it and offered a solution, and not after the fact!  Obviously Gino's Pastry Shop (and I hate repeating there name, but its' more so you know who messed up this event) & Jerome do not feel that way.  So should you decide to go to this bakery, make sure before you leave, you've gotten what you paid for! 

Happy Blogging All!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Thankful Thursdays

Let's keep it short and sweet this week. I am thankful to have a J.O.B!  I started about two weeks ago and was just giving myself time to settle in before I started making comments and all that.  But so far it's been really great. So far I get along with my co-workers, I love my boss and the company is amazing!  Now I know that I'm very lucky to have been able to find employment so quickly.  I was out of work for a little more than two months, and honestly it was torture. Don't get me wrong, it was great waking up late and watching Maury and then my Soaps.  But you start to doubt yourself so much, it really gets too you.  All those questions about "What are they looking for?", "Why aren't I getting called back?", "What do I even want to do anymore?", really start to take their toll on you.  My heart, prayers and well wishes go out to all of those still struggling to find something, whether they've been looking for 2 months or 2 years.  It sucks at any rate, and I hope that those people find something soon. 

Happy Blogging All.

Wordless Wednesday

My new work digs :)  

Happy Blogging All!!!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I Beg To Differ

*Background photo credit: No Country...
I'd like to start this post (which is actually the reason behind it) with a quote from a friend, who recently posted this on his FB:

"(Random RANT) I Hate it when women say "there are no good men left"(big A$$ lie) U ever stop 2think maybe the problem lies within u? Maybe u should stop datin douchebags u meet at da club. Or maybe u should higher ur standards &stop makin excuses 4 settlin. Or in some cases lower ur standards cause ur not that good lookin 2B sooo freakin picky in the 1st place. Ok, Now some math. U + him + 3babymamas = UrDumb!!!! "
Now I respect him in many ways, and often agree with the things he has to say; with the exception that he hates Nicki Minaj & I LOVE her.  But when I read this I thought to myself, "Are you freaking kidding me dude?" I BEG TO DIFFER HERE!!!  Now recently I was dumped (and no I'm not afraid to say dumped) by someone.  Even till this day, I can't begin to understand or explain to you why or what happened.  According to him I'm an amazing girl, smart, sexy, etc.  But I guess I just wasted all these things for him.  Now when I met this person I had no intention of starting a relationship.  I was happy being alone and hanging out with my girlfriends.  We dated for about 3 months before making it official.  I met almost his entire family, and was even invited on a family vacation with them this coming July.  Then out of the blue he says, "I just don't think my feelings for you can grow anymore, and I'm not in love."  Obviously I was thrown off, but it just proved to me that once again, no matter how old they are, men just don't know what they want and are douchebags, plain and simple...And no this isn't to bash him, because I know he's a good guy. He just SUCKS at being in a relationship. :)

Now I first thought, maybe that's an unfair statement (the douchebag thing). I know some women in good relationships, so it can't be all of them.  Then I read that above post and I just thought, "WTF?!".  So now it's my fault? Apparently my standards are too low; I guess being interested in a man with an education, who is kind, good with my family, has no children and actually has a job, is too low. So I should raise them to what exactly?  Or its that I'm just not good looking enough and should be dating trolls.  So of course I go to my girlfriends, both those in and out of relationships, and ask them what gives?  Is this really an accurate statement to make of women who have been dragged through the mud during relationships, and have the idea that "there are no good men anymore"?  That are standards are either to high or to low, or we're reaching to high in the attractive department because we're obviously hideous creatures who should accept anyone that would dare even touch us with a tree branch.

So in talking to my friends, I found that many of us have experienced the same instances with men.  And again this is from women in and out of relationships.  Here are some examples of the things that just confuse us and further enforces the idea that men suck today, and really don't exist; they're just little boys (and if you're a man reading this, please feel free to explain, because I for one am completely confused): 
  1. He tells you he likes you and would love and can't wait to go out with you. Then you invite him out and he makes up an excuse as to why he can't go; and he does this often. - Why then, make it seem like you're so interested, just to give her the brush off?
  2. He tells you he likes you and how you're so wonderful, and he can't believe that you're still single, blah blah blah. Then just falls off the face of the Earth.  - So either you have a girlfriend/wife or you were just looking to get in our pants and it didn't work out. Newsflash, do you know how many girls out there, would rather just have sex buddies? Why bother with the girl who actually wants the relationship, when you could have no strings attached with someone who does want that? OOO it's 'cause you have "game" and you want to use it. Well you my friend, I wish a nasty STD upon you. Yea, I said it!
  3. They've screwed up, but because you give them the benefit of the doubt (because as women we just have these soft spots, for everyone, men & women alike) you decide to give them another chance. They tell you all these wonderful things and that they're going to make it up to you. Then, like the above, fall off the face of the Earth. Again, why even bother?!
  4. (My personal example) You're in a relationship and he introduces you to his family, has you hang out mainly with his friends and family and even invites you on a vacation.  Then later tells you that he can't see his feelings for you growing into love.  But then continues to tell you that you're so wonderful, great and a beautiful person. (This person also told you previously when you had issues in the relationship, that if they couldn't be in a relationship with you, they couldn't be in a relaitonship with anyone.) - Please tell me what sense ANY of that makes? And this is a person who is past the age of 30? Mid-life crisis?  I'd honestly would rather just have you tell me, "I just don't like you; you suck. It's over." And yes, I mean that!
  5. The relationship is rocky and you have "the talk". You ask them if they want this relationship or if they want to break up. They insist it's what they want and they want to make it work in all ways possible.  They then break up with you a few days later.  - Seriously? Obviously there where some doubts, so instead of saying, "yes, yes, yes." You should be honest and say, "I don't know let me think about it." Instead you have the person you're with thinking things are resolved, only to knock the wind out of them a few days later.
  6. This man, tells you, that if you'd like to move to another state in the next few months, they would consider looking for a job in said state so that they can be with you.  Then he proceeds to break up with you the following week. - Again what sense does that make? Were you just reaching for conversation that day and didn't know what else to talk about?
  7. (One of my favorites since it seems to be VERY common) You're in a relationship, and some past love is constantly calling and texting. Wondering why you're with that "jerk" and not with them, they love you and all these other cutie things.  Then the day comes where you happen to break up with the other guy. He gets wind of it and suddenly he's MIA.  - What exactly was the purpose of reaching out to begin with? Because if we're happy then you can't be happy; 'cause only when we're miserable, can you sleep better at night.
  8. He tells you you're one of the most important people in his life, and yet at the drop of a dime when his friends call to make plans, and you've had plans set in place for 3 weeks he asks you if it's ok if he goes with them instead.  - Oh yes, I can see how important spending time with your lady really is too you.
Now these are just some of the things that women deal with in relationships or when starting new relationships, which just leaves us baffled.  But according to so many, it's the woman's fault and we need to take responsibility for it?  I for one do have my standards, but I also set standards for myself.  I know that a man needs his boy time and even alone time, and I give that to the person that I'm with, because hey I want that too.  I'm a positive person and always give encouraging words and support.  I don't nag, because hey if you don't want to do something or do want to do something, you already have a mother to get on you about crap.  And as I said, the standards I have for men, are they same I would expect them to have with me, which are for them to be educated, know what they want out of life, doesn't have 3 different baby momma's and has a job and isn't laying at home watching re-runs of Maury all day (and yes I do understand if the person was laid off; hello I was just there.)  Please tell me what's so wrong with that?  Must be that I'm hideous thing *insert sarcasm laugh here*

So maybe I took the comment just a little to literally because of the situation I currently find myself in.  But even still, if woman have to lower/higher their standards, then so do men.  And by that, I mean, mean what you say and stop with the double talking. And if you're not sure, than say that, "I'm not sure."  Don't pretend to be something you're not, just to try and make yourself feel better or put another notch on your bed post. This way, no one is confused and we all go on living happily ever after, with or without each other.

Happy Blogging All!

Sunday, May 8, 2011


I know it's been a while since I've blogged. Besides being busy, Blogger has been giving me some issues upon sign in. Anyway!!!!! I just wanted to take this moment to wish all the Mommy's that read my blog a Happy Mother's Day!  Mother's have one of the toughest jobs out there; one job I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for.  So to all those mother's, I'd like to thank you on behalf of everyone by saying, "You're Awesome, Wonderful & Amazing!" and "Keep up the good work."

A special thank you to my own mother who has taught me how to be strong, independent, patient, kind and honest woman.  When I think I can't do something, like even pass my drivers test (which I did last July), I look to my mother who has over come more obstacles than any person should ever be put through.  She is the epitome of what a woman with grace and beauty, in all ways, is.  I love you mother and I hope you know that you're not only my mother, you're my best friend and the reason I strive to be better in everything that I do.  Thank you for giving me life and being there for all 28 years of it.

Me & My Mother