Monday, July 30, 2012

Monday Grievances

As I've said before, and I will likely say many more times to come, I can't stand liars.  Sure, if you want to lie about your weight, your age or you dick size/bra cup, I could care less.  But when people lie about big things such as, "No, I never slept with your boyfriend", and meanwhile you walked in on them, that is when I get annoyed.  And no, that's never happened, I'm just using it as an example, no matter how extreme an example it may be.  I understand people try to save face and avoid conflict, but is it really necessary?  One of the things that upsets me even more is lying when no one even asked you for the "truth".  It seems that so many people just want to talk to simply talk.  There isn't any substance behind what they're saying, you can clearly see everything they're spewing is bullshit, and yet they continue to try and feed you this garbage.  What's even worse is when these people are "friends".  And when you can instantly tell that the "friend" is lying, you know it's time to reevaluate how, or if, this person fits into your life.

And no, I don't pretend to be an angel, because sure I've lied too.  Contrary to what you may believe, I am not perfect ;).   BUT when I lie, I lie right back to the people who are lying to me.  For example: Guy: No, I don't have a girlfriend. I just put "in a relationship" so that girls won't bother me. You're the only chick I'm messing with.  Me: Yea, me too.  Just you and I. (Meanwhile, I know for a FACT you have a girlfriend and guess what? I've got someone I see too...) Eye for an eye, right? Trust me, I understand the old adage, two wrongs don't make a right.  However, if you're going to disrespect me enough to not offer me the truth or be honest with me, then why should I give you that courtesy.  Do me the favor, do not insult my intelligence and do not under estimate my keen sense on sorting out the real from the fake.  I will make it plain and simple for people, don't lie to me and I won't lie to you.  If I ask you something and you feel like you can't tell me the truth, then just stay shut. I can then make the decision if you stay around or not.  AND if I don't ask you anything, because chances are I don't give a flying fuck, don't feel the need to go and "explain" yourself, when all you plan on doing is feeding me more bullshit.  That actually pisses me off more than anything. JUST STAY QUIET!!!  And now, the fact that I've said "feed(ing)" about 12 times, makes me now want a brownie. So this is where I'll leave it.

La Latina Loquita

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Video Clip Wednesday: Ladies Anthem

Yes, I am on a mission to get people to listen to Marina and The Diamonds.  BUT, that's not why I've posted this video.  Besides the fact that I think it's super catchy, I think that these are rules that us ladies should live by.  So take a listen and let me know if you agree.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Delusions of Grandeur

In today's world, and heck probably before our time, people have a tendency to stretch the truth or just out right lie.  Lies can start of small and work themselves into bigger and deeper ones.  Now you all know how I feel about lying, no matter how small it is.  I truly don't see the point in it.  I've always tried to speak my mind and tell people how I feel, even if I know it will upset them.  And yes, this goes for people I don't know either.  When I meet someone, I don't feel it necessary to hold back, but I also don't find it necessary to lie or talk myself up into something I'm not.  That brings us to the topic at hand.

Lately I've been dating and meeting new "men", and I've found they all have one common trait: they're all full of shit!  Now don't get me wrong, before I get men attacking me for once again not giving them the benefit of the doubt. I'm not saying EVERY man lies or is full of it.  However, in my experience, it just seems to go hand in hand with men.  Lying comes as naturally as scratching their balls; it's in their genes.  And you know what, it's actually not just my experience.  I was hanging out with a friend recently and she told me a story of how she met a great guy and they started on that journey of "getting to know you."  He talked about how he wanted to find a great girl and settle down. He told her all these great things, and it wasn't that she ate it up with a spoon, but she had no reason to believe he was lying.  She didn't necessary fall for everything he was selling, but she felt she could at least relate & agree with him.  They decided to go on a date, and when it was about to end, he suggested her going with him to meet his parents, that evening.  She thought, it was a bit much too soon, so she declined.  For about two weeks they continuing speaking & things seemed to be going well.  But then, it began to dwindle to almost nothing.  She decided to contact him one day and tell him she thought his communication was slipping.  Suddenly the guy who was ready to settle down & find a great girl, told her that she needed someone who was more attentive and that the timing was off.  Now most people reading this are probably thinking, "Well you can't believe everything people tell you." or "Well he was probably only looking for one thing, and told you all those things to try and get it." Except, friends, he didn't even get IT.  And if it was for that, then don't you think he went about it the wrong way?! So then why all the bullshit in the beginning, to then just go MIA; what was the purpose?!

Now that brings me to the two instances that I have gone through.  The first is a guy who I've always had a crush on.  Smart, funny, great job and total player.  I figured out long ago that he would probably just be a friends with benefits kind of "friend" and as much as I liked him, I thought, so be it.  And while you all know I DON'T condone that kind of relationship, sometimes a girls "needs" need to be met; SORRY MOM, but come on, am I right ladies... *wait's for high fives*... Moving along.  Now I told this guy that I understood that this was the nature of our relationship and I was completely okay with it.  But he kept saying, "Well let's see where it goes." and, "You never know." and blah blah blah.  He kept saying all these things, that I suppose he thought I wanted to hear. But I didn't. I was completely comfortable with what was going on and I made it quite clear I was. So again, why all the bullshit?  We both know what this is, so who exactly are you trying to convince here? Or is that what you really want? And that's where more confusion comes in.

My second situation, and I'll keep this short, happened more recently.  I met someone, who at first my gut said, "You should steer clear from of situation.", however none of the reasons I thought of were, he's going to try and sell you some story.  We spoke for a short time, and it was actually a great conversation.  During our talk he told me about what he was looking for, blah blah blah and how into me he was and that we should try to see where things could go and even mentioned going on a date soon.  I decided to throw caution to the wind (and yes, I know you're thinking, "Hello, they signs were already there", but they weren't the signs you think.) I said okay, lets see where it could go.  We spoke for a few days and then *POOF*, he mysteriously, and with no explanation, pulled a Houdini and vanished.  It made completely no sense to me.  You pursued me and said you wanted to go on a date; not the other way around.  So of course I'm left saying, "Huh? What was the point of saying all that stuff?"

Now I've asked others, men and woman alike, why these guys would lie and feed us these bullshit fantasy lines. They say, simply because we believe it.  I've been told that women should never buy into what men say and that we should always assume that men will always make things up, make themselves out to be these great people and will just basically be douchebags.  So my question is, if I'm suppose to assume that everything that comes out of a man's mouth is pure garbage, then how am I suppose to ever get into and make a relationship work?  How do people move into that next phase, if they're already going into the situation assuming the worse of the person?  Now I'm not saying you should believe every single thing a person says, and of course you should be cautious. However, I just can't fathom being able to really get to know someone by playing these games and believing every person I meet is going to bullshit me; especially not at my age.  See, those things were cute when we were in our early 20's, but at this point, you would think, even if someone didn't want a relationship, the could at least be honest and upfront and say what it is they do want.  And if we are to accept the idea that everyone has an agenda and will lie to you, then what about the lines of, "You can't carry the baggage of what someone did to you before, into the future" or "You can't believe everyone is a liar."  If I'm believing everything he says is a lie, isn't that exactly what I'm doing?

Dating is a confusing thing and if this is what the "game" is, then I'd like no part of it. No, thanks! So I'm thinking, ladies, that we just get ourselves a great vibrator, and that'll probably be our best bet for now. And no, that is NOT bitter.  That simply means, we've gotta have some kind of fun until the men decide to wise up and be honest; no matter what that honesty entails.  So lets grab a glass of wine, read our filthy 50 Shades of whatever and say, "Screw you relationships & your delusions of grandeur!" :)

No Longer Accepting Delusions,
La Latina Loquita

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Random Rant

Walking home from work, I notice about 6 guys standing in front of a building. They're talking (loudly!), laughing blasting music and just lounging in there jeans and wife beaters t-shirts.  One of them notices me and starts hollering like an idiot.  You know the "Hey Ma, waz good? Can I tawk to you for a second?" kind of hollering, and of course his buddies are cheering him on.  How unbelievably corny.  Anyway, I think judging by my attire & my worn out face, you could guess that I'm coming home from work; so you already know that much about me.  Now, I don't want to be judgmental here, but I live in the South Bronx, so deal with it.  What I know about you, is that you're sitting in front of a building doing NOTHING.  I could be wrong, and I could be judging a book by it's cover, but chances are you don't have a regular 9-5 and aren't a "real" man.  And what do I mean by "real man"?  Well, I'm not going to go into detail on what I think a real man is, but what I can say is that they're not sitting outside of a building, trying to pick up women.  Tell me if I'm wrong, but if you're past the age of 25 (and they were way past that age) isn't that just kind of sad?  I just don't understand men.  Do they really think that any woman in her right mind is going to turn to mush and find that to be sweet, sexy or cool?  If so, lets just say, that's gonna be one interesting relationship, and frankly I'd like to watch it on VH1 when I comes out next year.

Til Next Time Kids,
La Latina Loquita

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Is it his twin?!

Once upon a time, there was a girl who waited a long time to become intimate with a boy she really really liked.  She told herself she would wait until they were exclusive before hitting the sheets & showing her "wild side".  However, one day, it was not the fact that they were not boyfriend and girlfriend, that stopped them from gettin' their groove on.  No, it was his twin that halted there expedition...or something like it.

Before I continue, I will say that no, there was not another person in the room.  Get your mind out of the gutter people. This girl, is a lady.

So, on that day, the boy and girl began to passionately kiss, and both of them knew they could not wait any longer. They moved their heavy petting into the bedroom, where he proceeded to take off her shirt, and her, his.  As he moved his hands down her back she felt such a joy just fill inside her and she was lit like a candle.  As she began to return the favor, reaching from his shoulders, down to his hips, she stopped mid way down his torso.  While he did not notice her reaction...because it was dark and no one could see anything... her eyes POPPED open.  "What in the fucking world is this?", she thought to herself.  "I can't see it, but it's huge. Is it a tumor? Why is it so big (it NOT being, well, IT)? This is disgusting? MY GOD WHAT IS THIS?!" She continued freaking out and her mood, obviously, changed, but she tried to carry on.  But the more she tried to focus on the real task at hand, she just couldn't get it together.  The girl just could not figure out what this thing was, that seemed to poke out of his waist like an uninvited guest. "My God, what if it's a piece of his twin that they cut off at birth? Baby Jesus, what the hell kinda Twilight Zone episode have I gotten myself into!"

Finally she put a halt to the situation, telling the boy that as much as she wanted to move forward, she must stick to her rules of only having sex while in committed relationship.  The boy understood, and kissed her sweetly on the forehead.  They then just laid there and he put her had over his stomach.  By this time, the girl had calmed down and as she began to forget about the incident, she gently glided her hand down his waist and again there it was.  Before upchucking her dinner, she decided, it would be best to end the night.  As they made their way, looking for shirts and socks that had been thrown in a gust of passion, the boy turned on the light.  He moved around quickly, all while the girl kept trying to search, without begin caught, to find what the fuck it was she felt on his body.  He turned and gave her one of her socks, and as he did, there it was.  What once felt like a baseball, a tumor, another freaking person, was right there in front of her, almost eye to eye. It was.... A MOLE!


Yes, just a little mole.  But not unlike a review mirror, where objects can appear closer than they are, this mole appeared to be the size of the moon, in the dark.  So I say to you blogger friends & readers - freakin' check the merchandise in the LIGHT, before you start making moves! Forget all this "in the dark stuff", or you may be in for a BIG surprise; even if it's just a little one.

Til Next Time!
La Latina Loquita

*Mole Photo Credit*

Monday, July 9, 2012

This is crazy, but I'm back...Maybe

I can't believe the last time I posted was back in March! So many things have happened, come and gone, and changed in my life, which means I have lots and lots to share.  I hope to be able to post a little more often and keep you all up to date on the crazy going on's in my life.  Because obviously you all still care, or you wouldn't still be coming back...right? :)

This quicky blog is just to let you know that I'm back!...I know I've said this multiple times before, but here's hoping life stays calm and allows me to write at least 2 to 3 times a week.  What's actually hysterical is I have about 8 blogs saved, I just need to fine-tune them. I can't have you all reading gibberish...Well I mean it's gibberish anyway, but if I'm subjecting you to it, it should at least be gibberish that's tolerable.  Also, I've set my blog to "Adult".  While I don't intend to get overly graphic, there are instances where I'd like to be a little more free with my writing, and have held myself back, in case the wrong eyes gander over here.  While I'm sure the change won't keep them out, at least I know I'm doing my part. So with all that said, check back this week for one of my new blogs. I'm pretty sure, you'll enjoy and get a good laugh at it and my luck. ;)

La Latina Loquita

P.S In the meantime, you can always catch me on Pinterest and Instagram. So come and follow me.

Instagram: LaLatinaLoquita; It's private, but I'll accept ya. :)