Open Letter To Our Dear Men...

It's hard dating nowadays.  There are so many things that either attract us to the opposite sex or things that make us run for the hills.  Some of those things can't be helped.  For example, he might have a lisp.  Then there are things that can be helped.  For example, he insists, after the age of 21, on getting designs and writings on his head.  Now remember, I'm a woman, so of course I'm going to speak from a woman's point of view. So before I get men writing to me asking me to stop bashing them, just know that isn't my intention.  I'm just pointing out some things that I believe men just should not be doing, wearing or saying.  And I'm pretty sure that after reading my list, some guy out there is going to write a list of what he thinks women should stop doing, and that is a-okay with me!

So Men, PLEASE STOP WEARING/DOING/SAYING ALL OF THE FOLLOWING:

1. No Jeggings. It's just wrong. First of all, you should NEVER look better in a pair of tight jeans, than your partner.  Nor should anyone ever see your twig and berries through your pants...Unless you're in a Calvin Klien ad; but that's different. Jeggings just does not help your attempt to be sexy or your attempt to look like anything, but a girl, so STOP. 
2. No Speedos. If you're not Michael Phelps, do not insist on wearing these anywhere. Not the beach, not the pool, not lake, not no where!  I don't care if your family has a pool and you're just wearing it there. Its not attractive.
3. No Tighty Whities. These are just never acceptable unless you're in your late 60's and over.  There is nothing sexy about seeing a man in these things when you're about to get it on.  It looks sloppy and gross. The image alone has just made me want to puke.
4. No Long Shorts.  If your shorts are so long that they really just look like high water jeans, just buy jeans! You look stupid!  And if you're past the age of 17, they shouldn't be hanging below your waist line.
5. Yes Manscape.  Yea, I'm gonna need you to seriously start working on the manscaping.  What do I mean?  Well I get you're a man's man and you have under arm hair and chest hair and so forth. That's fine. But it's not great if I can braid it, brush it or I find it stuck in the pillows and can't tell if its hair off my head or hair off of your whatever. And by the way, manscaping should be done everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Speaking of hairy situations...
6. Cut The Long Beard.  So you finally got facial hair. Yay for you!!!!  Now that we all know you've reached puberty, let it go.  I find it ridiculous when men grow their beards out, especially when it's only in the center.  When I kiss you, I don't want to feel like I'm about to go down on a woman from a 1970's porno. If I wanted to date a lesbian, I would. CUT IT!
7. No Thong Sandals. I have never in all my years of being on this planet met a man who can pull off Thong Sandals.  Men's feet, are point blank, not cute.  They're not hideous, but they're not cute.  No one wants to see your icky toes or the hair that's growing out of them; again MANSCAPE.  I'm not saying you can't wear sandals; of course you can. But wear the ones that where you just see the toes, but not really the knuckle of the toe. You know what I'm talking about.
8. NO SOCKS AND SANDALS! And seriously, this goes for ladies too. Think about it for a second. Sandals are worn so your feet can feel free for a while.  Let them get air and breath. Wearing socks with sandals defeats the sole purpose of sandals. It's useless! Just wear sneakers if you're that desperate to wear socks.
9. No Ed Hardy. Only douchebags wear this clothing.  Unless that's the look you're going for. Then by all means. I guess we'll just take it as the universal uniform.  
10. No Silly Bands.  Are you a 10 year old girl gossiping on the phone with your friends about Justin Bieber and Wizards of Waverly Place? No? Then knock it off!
11. Cut Down On The Video Games. Okay, I love video games, especially racing ones.  But when you ignore a girl because you're on some uber level of whatever game just came out that week and you're on the headset with the boys and you can't let them down blah blah blah, there's a problem.  Girl or Video Game... No better yet.... Sex or Video Game. Your answer should always be SEX!
12. Cut The Long Hair.  I have never been a fan of long hair, but I'll admit on SOME it works.  But, while there are exceptions, here's where you men go to far.  If you're past the age of 20 (and I'm being soooo generous with that age) you should not be parting your hair and wearing pigtails or braids or pony tails of any kind!  You look like a complete idiot and NO ONE is taking you serious.... Continuing with this, hair should just be clean cut. I should be listening to words coming out of your mouth, not trying to figure out what's written on your head. 
13. No Hissing, Lewd Comments, etc.  I think it goes without saying that real men do not sound like air being let out of tires, nor do women want to be told "Mira Mami, Vien Aqui, blah blah blah."  Yes, of course. I'm running right over because obviously you have such interesting dialogue to exchange with me.  Pfff, please.  And last I checked, I'm childless, thanks.
14. Stop Cursing Us Out When We Don't Respond.  So I didn't turn around when you hissed at me like a cockroach. Am I really a bitch? No, I just don't respond to that, and in all honesty if that's the type of girl you're looking for, then you should know you're wasting your time. Don't throw some verbal tantrum just because your charming words didn't get me to turn my head. Get over it.  
15. Stop Being a Douche!!  WTF happened to manners and chivalry?  The other day I was on the train, and this man really ran for a seat, as a VERY pregnant lady was trying to waddle over to it.  And no, he did not get up!  Women love manly men. Women do not love Douchebags! At least wear the uniform so we see you coming.

I've covered at least the main things that bother me about men.  And trust me there are tons more, but I figured this is what I'd start with.  You're all more than welcome to add your own thoughts in the comments section; I'd actually REALLY like to hear/read them.  And to my beautiful, sexy, great men I would also LOVE to hear from you ;).  What is it about us crazy ladies that you think we should stop doing/wearing/saying? SHARE PEOPLE!

Happy Blogging All!

What If Tomorrow Didn't Come?

I tried to let the day go by without saying anything or touching on this topic.  I figured there are enough television specials and memorials to remind us what happened 10 years ago today, that I didn't need to add to it.  But in viewing all of the coverage and being alone with my own thoughts, all these different feelings began to muster up inside of me.

10 years ago I was a Sophomore in college and I was getting ready for my government class, which I couldn't stand.  My professor was an older man with such a thick accent, I dreaded every lecture.  As always, in the morning I watch TV. Sometimes TBS to watch Saved By The Bell or MTV to watch music videos.  But I always start with channel 11 news to see the weather and if they'll be any train delays.  As I was getting dressed I wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying, but at one point something just made me look at the screen.  As I turned, I saw the second plane hit the tower.  I was in shock, but at that moment it didn't dawn on me how serious it was.  I walked downstairs as my mother was about to leave and said, " Mom, they said terrorist just hit the World Trade Center towers with a Plane. I think I saw it."  She looked at me as if I was saying, "It might rain, don't forget an umbrella." and said, "Oh, freaking terrorist man. Okay, I'll see you later." And went to work.  I guess as New Yorkers always being the victim or possible victim of attacks, we were kind of desensitized  and jaded to the idea that something major may be happening for real.  So she left, and I got my book bag and left too.  I was on the 2 train on 135 street, when they stopped and said that due to train traffic we were being delayed.  15 minutes later they told us we had to get off, because no trains were going into the city.  And that's when I realized something really bad had happened.

After 9/11, I kept thinking of all the innocent people who had lost their lives. their families and friends who had lost their loved ones.  I was and still am extremely grateful that I didn't lose anyone I knew personally, especially because one of my mother's cousin's worked in one of the buildings as a maintenance man.  We later found out that he had been told to go back to work when the first plane hit, but trusting his gut, he left immediately.  But nonetheless, I still felt like I lost something.  It sounds strange, but I thought of people I smile at on the street randomly; you know when you happen to lock eyes.  Or someone I may have held the door for or given up a seat on the train too.  I thought of those people and wondered if any of them were in that building, or on one of those planes.  Then I thought of all the people that got to work early that day or the people that were late. People that missed the train, got stuck in traffic or decided to change their clothes and were basically, saved for lack of a better word, from this tragedy.  I thought of all the people who probably had had a fight with someone that morning or the night before.  The things they may have been said that weren't meant, or even the things that some people wanted to say and never could.  I thought of people who had probably planned trips or even lunch dates for that day, and never got to experience them.  It made me think of all the times I have said, "Oh, I'll do it tomorrow." or "Oh, I'll call that person tomorrow."  But this experience showed me point blank, "What if tomorrow didn't come?"

What makes this more upsetting is that I still do those things. I think I'll see so and so tomorrow, or i'll apply to that job tomorrow. I even think, oh I'll write that blog tomorrow.  Even after 10 years, I still make the mistake of thinking that tomorrow will come, when in reality tomorrow is promised to no one.  We make so many excuses for ourselves out of being lazy or just thinking that time is ours to waste, that sometimes we just don't go for it.  And I've written about this before, and it's sad because it's a thought that's always on my mind, but yet I don't always make the changes that need to be made in my life, a priority.  A day like today is always that burst of reality, that wake up call, that sometimes is just needed.  It's great to think of just going with the flow and see where the wind takes you, because then you don't have to really make decisions and possibly mess up.  But what good is it to sit and wait for life to move you? You need to move life on your own.  So if there's a trip you've been meaning to take, go for it.  If you've had an argument with someone and have been holding a grudge, let it go; if not for them for yourself.  If there's a big decision you've been meaning to make, make it.  If you love someone tell them.  Because if tomorrow doesn't come, you won't be able to say, I'll do it then.

My heart and prayers go out to all of the victims souls, their families, their friends and their colleagues.  And to all the heroes, thank you for your courage and strength.  May God protect us all.

Happy Blogging All!