Monday, February 14, 2011

Monday Grievances Special Edition: Valentine's Day

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It's that time of year again, where Hallmark makes millions (maybe even billions) harping on the excitement and love obsession of emotionally unstable women.  Women who are using the day as an excuse to take a "break" from their diets and engorge their bellies with chocolates and heart shaped candies. *BARF*.  Its the day where flowers become a weapon in men's pursuit to get the panties.  It's the day where all out wars are broken out in Godiva stores around the nation.  Yes, my dear friends, it's Valentines Day.  That special day where men in relationships are killing themselves to find the perfect gift, the perfect restaurant and the perfect card to show their lady how special she is.  It's also that special day where women tend to make men feel like garbage because they hate that restaurant, the gift isn't a diamond and the card should've been accompanied by 12 dozen long stemmed red roses and a string quartet.  It's also the day of a lot of break ups.  And of course this fabulous day wouldn't leave out the singles!  No, of course not, see because for them its the day that hearts and the color red will haunt their daydreams, there dinners, which are normally fine, but today will feel like the loneliest one they've ever had and the day where their mom's will call them to say "I'll always be your Valentine Dear."  However on a plus side, it will clear up room at the gym to finally get that private work out in. 

I mean is it just me, or does Valentine's Day just seem to shit crap all over those not in relationships and make them feel like their some kind of Leper because on this day of all days their "ALONE".  And yes, this is all coming from someone who is currently in a relationship.   But for those who aren't, Heaven forbid you should say you're, *gasp* happy to be alone and couldn't care less.  Because of course you're just saying that and that's when your friends give you that look of sorrow and pity and say "Oh, Honey."  Umm, OK, I'm alone on a made up commercialized Holiday.  I didn't just find a lump on one of my body parts or have to put my dog down.  Relax, I'll be fine.   Why is it single people have to justify or explain how they don't care that it's Valentine's Day and they're going to stay home.  I remember when I was single, how horrible people would make me feel because I didn't have someone.  I did have someone, and that's why I'm alone now.  And lord if I had to see another Myspace or Facebook status update of how someone got engaged, I was going to have to find a bear to naw my eyes out...  Which by the way, and I'm sorry if this includes you, I think proposing on Valentine's Day (or any holiday or birthday for that matter) is the corniest thing ever.  Be original!...  For me Valentine's Day was always a day that my mom brought home some cute toy for me like an Eeyore or Pepe Le Pew stuffy and some Chocolate Covered Strawberries.  In fact my best Valentine's Day was going to Build-A-Bear with my mother and sister and then out to dinner afterwards.  And to us it wasn't about "Valentine's Day" it was just about spending time with each other.  And the teddy bear and chocolate gifts where something that my mom always did for me.  It's the same thing with Mother's & Father's Day.  I treat her like the queen she is everyday.  So why shouldn't those I love and love me treat me like they do everyday....  And don't get smart and say something about Christmas and gifts.  OK, because that's about Baby Jesus' birthday and we only celebrate birthday's once a year. :)...

Anyway where I'm really going with this blog is my worst Valentine's Day.  With the date approaching, my cousin New York Chica had asked a bunch of her friends in the blogging world to share what our greatest and lamest Valentine's Day were.  I shared my best (story above) and my worst, which you can read about if you click on her name in blue above.  But as I began to think about what the worst or lamest Valentine's Day were, I realized that that the "worst" story I gave her, wasn't it.  It was actually another, even better story. 

So here's how it went down...  An ex-boyfriend and I decided that we should try to work things out with each other after having a pretty nasty breakup.   At the time it sounded like a great idea because we had been very close and there was a friendship I stupidly thought was worth saving.   So it seemed that with all his "confusion" and "trying to find himself" that he actually seemed to try harder to make me feel special and happy.  A few days before Valentine's Day I received a bouquet of Flowers with a card reading, "I hope these flowers are as beautiful as you are.  You're the only woman that deserves these."  I thought to myself, "Wow that is so sweet."  And he knew that I wasn't a Valentine's Day fanatic, so I thought it was a beautiful gesture that he was trying to catch me off guard.  After I thanked him and we talked a little, I didn't hear from him for about a week because he said he needed to be alone to sort things out.  I thought fine and that Valentine's Day I spent it with My mom, sister and a friend and had a great time.  So now you ask, "La Latina Loquita, what's so horrible about this Valentine's day?  Sounds like a good day to us."  Yea, I thought that too.  Until some time later when I was with the piece of shit douchebag ex-boyfriend and we were talking about our relationship, or lack there of.   Since we were going to go out, he went to take a shower and I sat in his room waiting so we could finish the conversation and leave.  Now, I am not by any means a snoop, but something about this whole thing just didn't seem right.  So I started to remember why and how we had broken up originally, how he was acting on that day and his attitude.  And then I realized, "Yea, I need to go through his phone."  Not my proudest moment, but if I hadn't, I don't think I'd be where I am today (which is in an amazing place.)  So I went through his phone and lo and behold text messages to an ex-girlfriend that was not me.  As I read through some of the texts there it was, her thanking him for flowers that he had sent her for her birthday.  He texted her back with these words... "I hope these flowers are as beautiful as you are.  You're the only woman that deserves these."  My mouth dropped!  Basically the same thing he had written to me, he had written to her.  After throwing a few things around, collecting things I'd purchased for him and packing them away and then scaring the shit out of him while he was in the shower, I confronted him about the situation.  I asked him to explain himself and of course he gave me the confused "I'm not sure look".  I then plainly asked him if he had also sent her flowers on Valentine's Day and he couldn't even look me in the eye.  He finally told me he had, but it was because he felt bad because he knew no one was going to send her anything.  I have never wanted to find a sharp object quick enough to stab someone in the eye.  But I didn't.  And I didn't even take the gifts I had purchased for him throughout our relationship back.  I told him to take me home and that we were done.  That's when I once again realized Valentine's Day blows, and now I'm not too fond of birthdays either.

So Valentine's Day, my dear friends, can suck it and suck it hard!  Hallmark can keep it's cards (even though I get them for my mom and sis lol),  Restaurants can keep their ridiculously long wait times and florist can keep their roses and thorns (I'm more of a Calla Lily & Orchids girl anyway.)   If my boyfriend doesn't get me a card, or flowers or buy me chocolates, I will not have an attack.  Nor will I cry or key his car in revenge.  And knowing my boyfriend, that's a good thing, because if I was expecting all that, his car would be found in a junk yard the next day :).  I'll admit, just for the lovers of this day, that sometimes it is fun just to participate in the hoopla and joke around.  I'll eat the candy, I'll take a free rose and an e-card just for shits and giggles.  But I will not turn into some psychotic female that demands romantic gestures or it's off with his head.  If anything, I want those things everyday; throughout our entire relationship, not just on that day.  And since that ain't gonna happen, Valentine's Day would just be a lie... And it is. HA!

Happy Val... Blogging All!

P.S. I do love Hallmark.  Their Christmas Ornaments and their Hoops & Yoyo collection are THE BOMB!!! :)

***Disclaimer: All opinions existing in the above commentary are solely those of its creator.  This blog does not serve to criticize, endorse or represent any product, and merely describes an opinion and should be taken solely as such.***

1 comment:

  1. Damn, if I were you, I'd hate Valentine's Day too! That's horrible!

    In the past when hubby and I were dating, if he would "forget" to get me anything, I would get mad but I think it was because it was like a "competition" thing. My friends would receive flowers, bears, balloons, candy and sometimes jewelry and I would get just a card, or nothing at all and his excuse was, Oh I forgot! Yea right.

    But now that we are married with kids, it's like oh you got me card? Oh yea, me too and that's perfectly fine with us. Like I said in my post today, this year it's all about our girls. They'll be getting chocolates and balloons and tomorrow I'll buy myself a nice big heart at 50% off! Ha! lol