Friday, November 11, 2011

If That's What's Left, I'm Screwed...

The other day I was talking with a few of my girlfriends about dating.  Yes, dating, what a weird concept, I know.  It seems nowadays dating isn't anything more than going out to the movies or dinner, and then being expected to give up the goods that night.  I guess that makes a good relationship.  Anyway, we questioned what happened to the days of wining and dining.  And it's not like we're talking about fancy restaurants and expensive Broadway shows for a first date, but something that shows you're interesting in more than a roll in the hay.  Now if that's what you're looking for, that's fine, to each his/her own.  But I'm sure, or at least I'm hoping, that that is something that is discussed before hand.  I know I'm looking for a real relationship, and I know the type of person I want it with and the type of person I don't.  So why is it that even though a man will know you're looking for more than what they're offering, will they "pretend" that they want the same thing?  I won't put the blame completely on the man, so relax gentleman.  Because ladies we should know better too.  However, if someone tells you (for example)  "I want the blue car", why would you say "Sure the blue car is available" when in fact only car left on the light is some crappy white car one?  I hope my analogy didn't throw anyone off; I'm trying to connect to the men and women here.

So I went on a dating website and set up a profile.  If you know me, you know that I've done the online dating thing a few times.  One of which I was engaged too, but that's a different story for a different day.  So I'm sort of an old pro at these sites.  Anyway, I set up the profile and wrote out what I'm looking for and not, and BAM about 45 men had either looked at the profile or written.  When I tell you I was simply appalled by the responses, I'm downplaying my disgust.  I had specifically said please do not contact me if you're over the age of 35.  I had 50 year old men contacting me. I do not want to feel like I'm dating my uncle or my father, so that really creeps me out!  I had also asked that if you have children, to be aware that I am really not fond of them, nor do I intend on having any.  I had 5 fathers, who either didn't read the profile or didn't care, ask me out for this weekend! I shit you not.  You know nothing about me, and you want to go on a date that quickly?  And I had also mentioned how I'm big on Reality TV and Gossip, because I find it extremely funny and entertaining.  One guy had actually written in his profile that he was looking for a girl not into pop culture. HELLO???? Are you even reading what women are writing?  Or are you just that eager to either meet and/or bang a woman, that ya just don't give a rats ass.  And I'd like to see it must be my stunning good looks that got them, but no.  I didn't even put up a photo yet!

Oh and the photos, dear God, the photos!! One guy was doing the signature GIRL pose, where the lips are pursed out.  And for some godforsaken reason he had lip gloss on!!  His lips were soooo shiny, I was blinded, and yet a little drawn in. I wonder if he got that gloss at MAC.  And then you have the guy who has 3 guys in the photo, so you're playing the guessing game on which one is the fella you're interested in.  Or the guy who takes photos with sunglasses on.  I think that one is self explanatory.  There's also the guy who takes all his photos 40 ft away from the camera.  Are you a ghost? I don't get it.  And then finally, and I'd like to know why, many of the men had hats on.  Now I have this thing with my girlfriends called, "Hat Syndrome."  What is Hat Syndrome?  Well it's when a guy looks really hot and sexy with a hat on. Something about him is a little dark and mysterious; he just looks good.  And then he takes the hat off and it's like the boggie man from your childhood has just reemerged. He went from looking like Joe Manganiello to Steve Buscemi all with the removal of a hat.  And while I don't want to say all relationships/dating/whatever is based solely on looks; cause lord knows it's NOT.  You do have to have some type of attraction to the person, physically, for things to at least get off the ground.  Don't you?

So I'm not beating up on men here, I'm sure women have their share of stupid things they say or do on dating sites. HOWEVER I am a woman, so I'm going to obviously come from a woman's point of view.  So tell me is dating just a dying fad?  Do people just jump into relationship and not get to know each other? Or are people just banging each other like rabbits, and okay with that?  I once had a guy tell me he wouldn't settle down until maybe he was 40.  My uncle also told me that he didn't realize what he wanted until he was 38.  So is that what awaits women who are ready to be in relationships now? Date your "dad" or wait until the man of your dreams (or so to speak) is ready when your eggs are dried up and gone?  What do you think my dear blog readers/friends?

Happy Blogging All!

P.S. For the "Anonymous" Blogger Gangster who wrote the "These blogs suck..." on my last blog, Thank you!!!!!!  You my dear, are exactly why I will keep writing. :)


  1. Ummm..... I love you! And I also suffer from hat syndrome, to the point my husband shields my eyes whenever a little bitch (as he refers to them( when a hat crosses my right? Anyways love I am out of the dating game, but I can say this from watching my friends out is a bitch freeze your eggs. xoxo

  2. Love you too!!!! Thank you sweets... LMAO! Stop it. I'm sure you do not suffer from hat syndrome. I've seen dudes that look like 2 COMPLETELY different people. I mean bad...Lucky you for being taken. I keep telling my friends they're gonna have to freeze up the eggs for now, 'cause at this point, it's lookin' sorta hopeless. This is why they make wine! :)

  3. Holy shit i wanted to be fair and read this one to see if maybe i was wrong but i wasnt... THIS SUCKS EVEN MORE.. ps. You should give up!!! Anyone that goes on a dating website is either desprate or just plain old lame. Im guessing in your case its both! Happy blogging lmao

  4. Sweetie, 1. You're obviously just as lame as you think I may be, since you keep coming back to read my "sucky" blogs. 2. If you think you're hiding behind Anonymous, you're not; I know exactly who you are 3. THANK YOU!!!! HAPPY READING!

  5. oh wow. so anonymous 1 thinks you have to be desperate to go on a dating site. um no. it's not easy meeting people when everyone you know is married and all their friends are married and you work a full time job. hello? online dating isn't great but for some of's the only option other than sitting at a bar or a club and waiting for mr. or mrs. wonderful to appear. don't know if your anonymous is a woman or a man but i think they've been burned by a dating site mishap. sowwy for you. keep writing ms. thang. i think your blogs are on the money honey. if others don't....they should stop reading and find something more constructive to do with their time. write your own blog. :)

  6. Wow is hiring so your anonymous friend should hit them up since they have nothing better to do then post mean things. Get a LIFE!

    Anyways, once again you crack me up!! lol And as for dating sites its good to try whatever you can to each his own! I actually met my current BF for 8yrs on so there you just never keep your hopes up girl!! And Def keep blogging!! =)

    As they say regardless Opinions are like ASSHOLES everyone has one! =)

  7. Hahaha, you're too funny Amanda. I think my little Anonymous friend has learned his lesson, and won't be bothering me anymore. I do have to think him though, because it just made me want to write more, so he actually helped me out. :) As for dating, it's funny you say MiGente, because that's where I met my ex-fiance, except he was a white boy. LOL. Who would've thought. But again, my dating site experiment, is just that, and experiment. I'll be shutting it down after I write my next blog. Got lots more to add!

  8. FYI I am not the retard hating on your blog. I am a man simply wishing to be anonymous stating that while there are men, who don’t care about what your interests are there are female predators with similar motives. Shameless females that will still holler if they see you got a girl tattooed on your facebook page, I love the “damn your girl is lucky, wish I had a man like you. What you doing tonight?” (What wasn’t made up) Let’s not forget to mention those girls that have nothing but extreme close up pictures of their face. You think guys don’t know that trick? Sucking in your gut, stretching your neck up to look thinner, and adobe photoshop isn’t going to find that right man for you! (Notice that I didn’t say the man you want) Look, this isn’t Europe, most men like thick girls. So stop falsely advertising yourself. There are men out there that like thick girls with swag. Women’s first mistake is turning to the internet specifically for a relationship. If your seriously believe in the whole “soul mates” song and dance, then let it come to you. Cupid doesn’t shoot arrows through email. See, guys that see girls on dating websites just assume these girls are looking for a temporary fuck buddies because the majority are ….girls looking for temporary fuck buddies. Any self-respecting woman that is seriously looking for love will not resort to internet dating, in fact are rarely on facebook. You can say what you’re looking for until the cows come home. You’re on the web “seriously” looking for love? That’s like shopping for lingerie at a modells.

  9. I appreciate your comment. Very honest, and I think its good insight on what's going through a man's mind on this matter. In the defense of women that do go online looking for love, I dated someone for four years that I met on a website and was engaged for a short while. And no, meeting online is not why we broke up. I've also known a good hand full of people who have met their boyfriends/girlfriends and spouses online. Lets face facts, dating SUCKS! It's hard finding "the one", whether you're looking online, at a club (sooo not recommended) or even at your local grocery store. Now, while I'm not actively looking, and setting up my dating profile was a bit of an experiment to see what is left of the "single men" in my neck of the woods, I don't think its fair to say that it's a mistake to resort to online dating. Personally, if I were up to meeting someone right now, I would love for it to be some random incident of just bumping into someone on the street or at a friends party. But nowadays, it's hard to do so and if online dating can help to find someone genuine (which yes, that's a tall order) why not give it a shot.

    And I COMPLETELY agree with you, that there are many women out there that do everything you said, and really do screw it up for the rest of us. Same as a-hole men screw it up for the good males. Like I said, I would never attack all men, but being a woman, I'm coming from that point of view.