Saturday, January 15, 2011

Know Your Level

You're hanging out at the club, drinking, dancing and just having an overall good time with the girls.  Suddenly you get a tap on the shoulder. Could it be? That hottie you've been eyeing since you walked through the door has finally come over to talk to you.  You take a deep breath, turn around, only to see this…

First of all, who let you out of the cage?  Second of all, thank you for killing the little self esteem I had left and making me feel ugly.  From now on why don’t I just walk around with a paper bag over my head waiting for sweet death.  Too dramatic?

OK, I know that many of you may think that what I’m saying is cruel.  However if you've read my previous blogs, you know that I have no shame.  Now if you want to be politically correct and say that beauty is on the inside or that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, that's fine. I may even agree. I saw Beauty & The Beast; I know how it ends.  HOWEVER! and this is directed towards both men and women, KNOW. YOUR. LEVEL.  I bring up this topic for two reasons: 1. Yesterday I was having a conversation with my boyfriend about past dating horror experiences.  And of course I had about 20 over his two.  The major difference here was that all of my horror stories where about men that I would never have been attracted and how they tried to get me to either dance or talk or tried to date me.  I’ve had old men (I mean like in there 50’s old), ugly men, douchebag personality men, just all types of unattractive men come up to me, and they have been extremely aggressive.  2. My friend posted a blog about this yesterday (read here for his prospective: If You're Ugly & You Know It) and I figured it’s an epidemic that must be addressed!

Let’s face it, we all know that there are various levels of “The Hot” & the “Not So Hot”.  And we should all be pretty aware of where we fall on the spectrum.  If you don’t know, which unfortunately many don’t, ask a friend.  Don't get me wrong, I am by no means drop dead gorgeous and I don’t act as if I am; I know I’m no Kim Kardashian.  Would I approach a Leonardo Dicaprio or Cristiano Ronaldo? No.  I would most likely be arrested for stalking. But besides that, men that look like them only date the “model type” and for the most part are assholes; you've been warned!  The point I’m trying to build here is that I know what my level is and I know with whom I have a shot.  I’ve gone out to dinner and clubs with friends and it always happens that the most unsightly guy in the bunch asks me to dance.  Meanwhile his friends are all watching and laughing at how utterly repulsed I am and at the fact that their friend thinks he’s “got it like that”.  You would think they would tell him that he should back off, but they don’t.  Which then begs me to wonder if they actually believe he has a shot with me because crap, in their eyes, I am on his level.  It’s a nightmare!  While I think it’s great that some people have such high self esteem and confidence,  it doesn’t mean that you should be going after the Adrianna Lima types of the world when you’re a part of the Flava Flav types of the world.

At this point many of you are saying, “But Latina Loquita (yes I imagine that’s what you call me) what about personality?”  And I agree!  What about personality?  Sadly many of these creatures don’t have a personality to make up for their unfortunate looks.  So many of the vultures that have approached me on occasion have not only been unattractive on the outside, but been even more disgusting on the inside.  I’ve had guys who have tried to talk to me that I didn't necessarily feel like talking to.  Me, trying to be a nice person, will normally just smile and walk away.  But time and time again I'm yelled at and called a “Bitch” and asked "What's your problem? You too good?"..."Well, why yes sir I am."  But come on, are you shitting me dude? I tell you, there is nothing worse than a guy who is ugly and thinks he’s hot shit and tries to act as if he’s God’s gift to all women.  I have seen girls, who in my opinion have been pretty, go up to guys where I’m thinking OK, she’s got interesting taste, and it's him dismissing her.  All I can think is really? You’re saying no to her when you look like feet.   In the words of Stewie, “Who the hell do you think you are?”  Dude if a girl like that comes up to you, you better grab on to her.  Another poor quality is being unattractive on the inside and out and then claiming you have “a type.”  If you’re type isn’t “Gremlin” then don’t say you have a type.   I have a great example, but before I go into this story, I'd like you to take note that it's not about weight either. You can be tall and skinny and ugly. You can be short, fat and be cute. You can have a great muscular body and still be ugly. ETC.  It's not all about body type.  Anyway, I knew a guy in college who was not only fairly unattractive but was what we’ll call a large individual.   We all went to a Spring event and this girl who was a little chunky and very pretty (the ladies decided) approached him.  She started talking to him, asking him questions just trying to have a nice conversation and being really sweet.  We’re all standing there watching him as he’s rolling his eyes and basically brushing her off.  She must not have realized it or not cared, and still gave him her number.  First of all, if you’re not interested, don’t lead someone on.  Just say nice talking to you and keep it moving; don’t take the number.   Anyway, as soon as she walked away he said, “Can you believe that fat beast wants to go out.”  My jaw just dropped.  I was in complete and utter shock.  I had to ask him to repeat himself because there was no way that he was being serious.  He then proceeded to tell us that she wasn’t his type.  He liked slender girls with this and that and the third and meanwhile I’m thinking, “Hey Fat Bastard, have you looked in the mirror lately?  How about hitting up the gym and a plastic surgeon and then you can talk about your “type”."  Back then I was more of a quiet person, so I kept these thoughts to myself.  But I remember being so enraged by this.  How could he possibly not know his level, because his level was not at all on the level with the woman he described.

So maybe this isn't the topic you wanted to read.  And maybe it’s not a view that you agree with.  But it's something that I know many men and women out there have had to encounter, and just hasn’t had the balls to say it out loud or put it in writing.  And while there are people that would be attracted to someone who’s “outside their level”, so to speak, chances are that in this arrogant, vain and materialistic world, that’s not the norm.   So stop going after the steak, when you should really be trying the chicken.

Happy Blogging All

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  1. lmfao you made my morning sistah!

  2. Hold up! Wait a minute! You got a boyfriend? When did this happen? lol

  3. JAJAJAJAJAJA omfg... i am rolling on the grond laughing... i loved this post... i love my amiga cabrona igual ke yo!.. i use to get the creepy old mexican guys at the bailes... omg talk about self esteem killer for real

  4. Ladies, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Wasn't too sure how some people would react. But as ladies I think we can all agree we've encountered some interesting gentleman. I'm so grateful for you all!

  5. Always remember my "Miami Rule" you must be an 8 and above to talk to me (us)! lol!! and there is nothing wrong with that rule... :-)