Tuesday, January 11, 2011

My Review of The Bachelor 1/10/11

OK, I was going to review The Bad Girls Club today. However I wasn't able to re-watch it on Oxgyen or Hulu and I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything and did it justice.  So in its place I've decided to review a show I only started watching yesterday, thanks to the fabulousness that is Hulu. Since my mother won't get DVR I am obsessed with this site.
The Bachelor ABC 8p: 

This is a 2 hour show, so prepare yourself for a long post.  Now I've never watched any of the past Bachelor's or Bachelorette's; it's only thanks to Hulu that I started watching this season.  So it was news to me that this man was on a previous season and didn't pick anyone. When I heard this, he had already earned my respect. I mean someone finally goes on this show and admits that in 10 weeks he didn't find the love of his life. Shocking! It irks me that every single one of these Bachelor's and Bachelorettes supposedly finds there true love and proposes. Then after the last episode airs, we all find out they've been broken up since the initial proposal (I don't need to watch the show to know this, I have my trashy magazines to tell me that) Its so ridiculous. Society already makes a mockery of marriage, so why not put it on television, right?  So now this guy is back, and as quickly as he gained my respect he lost it not only by coming back to the scene of the crime BUT because now he promises to make the commitment and propose. Why in the world would you make such a "promise"? How could you make such a promise? Are you really that convinced that "the one" is in this bunch?  Sir, you just keep rising on the stupid meter.

8p-9p - In this episode, as in the previous one, the women shamelessly & embarrassingly fight over Brad. This is the point where their parents who are watching at home wish they'd worn a condom and their friends delete them from Facebook.  Chris explains the rules of the game, *ahem* I mean rules of the dates, to the women. As if they haven't already watched every season with the burning desire to one day be on the show. "I'm 24, already washed up. It's obvious there is just no hope for me. Wait a minute, I can get on that show The Bachelor. All I need is to make a complete fool of myself, be white and I'm in!" Yes, I said it. Where the hell is the diversity on this show???  But that's a different blog topic.  So Chris then lays a date card on the table.  Can someone explain to me why every time a date card is presented, these "women" go apeshit and start screaming?  You all know what's coming, relax you horny broads. And while we're on the subject of horny airheads, why did Melissa quit her job to be on the show? So if you're not picked, exactly who's going to pay your bills?...On to the 1st solo date where Brad takes Ashley to a carnival and they both compare their deadbeat dads. How romantic...Side note when he turned on the light to reveal that clown face, I almost sharted myself. You know, someone could've warned me!...  So Ashley has an amazing time, tickles his lungs with her tongue and says in her interview that she is already falling for this man she's known for all of 2 days.

Then there is a group date, where the ladies went on to film a Red Cross PSA. Michelle, who's birthday happens to fall on this day, complains. She whines and whines about how horrible this day will be for her, having to spend romantic time that should be for her and Brad, with other women and of all days on her birthday. Sorry girl, no sympathy from me and I'm sure none from the girls in the house. You knew what you were getting yourself into. You'll have another birthday next year....Another side note, but does anyone else think this guy look like a total doofus? I can't see anyone having an intelligent conversation with him...  Well at least they're doing something positive with the PSA, but of course not without complaints about roles and costumes and smooch time.  Michelle continues to complain about this birthday debacle and storms off set, only to have (what she wanted all along) Brad go after her.  Michelle we get it, for the 80th time it's your 30th birthday but SHUT THE FU*K UP! After the the shoot they go to an "after party" where the ladies continue with their cattiness, argue, call each other immature and whine about not getting time with Brad. In the end, Michelle gets the rose at the group date since guess what?  It was her birthday. Who knew. Has anyone else noticed that this chick is a total Looney Toon?  Oh and mainly fighting in this hour were Melissa and Rachel...

9p-10p - 2nd solo date is with Jackie for a Pretty Woman inspired day with Spa treatments, dresses, shoes, jewelry & a private concert performed by the group Train. She got her pick of beautiful dresses, so why she chose the ugliest one is beyond me...On this date, as in the one with Ashley, Brad tells her that he's scared of her for whatever reason and but that he's changed.  Meanwhile in his background interviews it’s obvious he's terrified.  Lordy, why are you back on this show dude? Did they give you more money? Or was it the promise of an STD outbreak, that lured you back in? I give the relationship with whomever he ends up with 3 months. 

Now onto the cocktail party where Brad gets the chance to learn more about the ladies. But wait, here comes Looney Toon to kidnap Brad. She already has a rose but obviously she has to speak to him urgently about a very serious issue that's been weighing on her heart. She finally gets up the nerve to ask him that age old question, "Starbucks or Coffee Bean?"  This woman is BEYOND DESPERATE and LAME! Have some pride in yourself and stop making women around the world look bad.  Finally Brad talks to the other women in his very awkward way. Seriously, the guy is a doofus. What attraction do they have to him? Did I miss the part where he reveals he's got millions upon millions or that he has the cure to Cancer?  The worst part is when both Melissa and Rachel go up to him, separately, crying about the other girl.  Yes, ladies this is exactly what a man wants to hear. A woman crying and complaining to a man, especially one who is surrounded by 20 other beautiful and quiet ladies, is about as sexy as grandma's panties.  His face while talking to both of them is priceless; he looks like a deer caught in the headlights. Later in the party, previous Bachelorette Ali and her chosen one, Roberto come in to help Brad with the ladies.  They basically talk to all the girls to assess if they're a good fit for our little Brad. Melissa & Rachel do the crying bit to them as well. Lord please get rid of them. Puh-lease!  Ali & Roberto decide to give their rose to Emily. I'm not even sure who this chick is nor did I realize there was an Emily on the show. At The Rose Ceremony he does what we've all been praying for, & gets rid of the brats Rachel & Melissa, and some other chick. At first I was kind of bummed, but then I remembered that Michelle is still in, so we'll have plenty of drama in the future. Uh, and Keltie, how dramatic and depressing.  I thought I was bad, but Jesus is this chick negative. It’s the saddest thing when people have no personality or any kind of depth to them. Apparently this was her last ditch effort to find love and now she's destined to be alone.  Maybe dating shouldn't be your major concern here; let’s work on the inside first and then we'll get to that.  Well I guess Brad might not be that much of a doofus after all.

I give this episode a depressing two thumbs up. Depressing because these girls are just sad and kind of makes me feel bad to laugh at them. The thumbs up because I'll be back to watch this waste of TV air time next week to continue the laughter. Though I'm not sure I can blog about it, it’s just way too much to write. LOL :)

I also watch Tabatha's Salon Takeover on Monday's, but I find she's perfect and can do no wrong so no need to criticize her. ;)

Happy Blogging All

***Disclaimer: All opinions existing in this commentary are solely those of its creator. Please take opinion solely as such and not as valid information.***

1 comment:

  1. OMG...I love Tabatha too. She's divine! I didn't always think so but she says it like it is and that is just great tv to me.