Excuse me. I'm sorry, but I ordered the man with NO kids...

*Disclaimer, if you're a parent (single or not), or if you're currently in a relationship with someone who has children and you LOVE it, and/or are easily offended, please do not read on. If you do read on and get offended, do not comment to me about it because I will just laugh and go about my day.*

Ladies, we're living in a world where the older you get in the dating scene, the bigger the possibility is going to be that you find someone with children.  I remember a few years ago I went on a date with someone and during our conversation he mentioned how his life was all about his children. Now I'm not a complete bitch (all the time), so I did find that sweet and kind of cute. HOWEVER because I am me, I thought: 1. Children? Did he just use that word in plural?... Ummm, Check please. 2. So this means I'll get less presents during Christmas?...Get off my back, I was the only child for 16 1/2 years and I'm still spoiled... So we continued with our conversation and he told me how he had 3 kids (he was only 24), what their ages were and tons of other "children" facts. He also mentioned that he and his ex were CONSTANTLY fighting. He didn't even have to tell me that; I could've figured it out by myself with her calling and yelling at him. Needless to say that that was our one and only date... Now if you know me (and if you don't, you really should get on that. I'm quite fabulous), you know that children & I don't mix. The closest I've come to having children is having two God-daughters; my sister & my cousins daughter "Burrito" who's 2. Now I obviously LOVE them both dearly. But I even told my cousin that I only take responsibility of children when they're about 5 and above. Because at that age they know well enough, and if they act up you can beat them :)

Anyway, the other night I was out with two of my girlfriends and we were talking about how difficult it is to find a really good man. What's worse is when you do find one and then you find out he has a child or multiple children from a previous relationship(s). And with children often comes that oh so wonderful "Baby Mama Drama". I'm sure no woman wants to sit through a date where the ex is calling on and off complaining about something he does or doesn't do (been there!). Nor do we really want to sit there with fake smiles as you make us look at photos of your child on your phone, or listen to the fact that baby #1 took of it's diaper and smeared poop all over the crib and you found it hysterical. I do not. Luckily I don't have to deal with this situation at the present time. *Needless to say I'm holding on to my man like a heroin addict to their syringe.* However, I think about the possibility of this occurring all the time. Being single is not fun. Its not a sport or a hobby I want to dabble in. But relationships with "baggage"??? (Yes, I'm calling children baggage) No, I'm good. I'd rather be single. I mean hell I'm not even sure I want my own kids; what the hell am I gonna do with yours. Because it's a pretty well known fact that the deeper into a relationship you get you become "Step Mom", and then that's a whole new ball game. I remember a friend who was dating someone who had children and would invite me over, then cancel because HIS kids were coming over. WTF?

There is also that point in the relationship where the parent needs to decide if they're going to introduce the child to you, the new girlfriend and that's a huge step. ESPECIALLY if they're little children.  And if they're teenagers, you can forget it. They most likely hate you before they even know you exist. "You're not my mother, BITCH!" (been there too, but that was me being the teenager hahaha). Another point to "point out", if you will, is what happens if you get attached to these little demon spawns and things don't work out. This obviously would take a toll on you. And what about the child? Think of that, especially if he/she has gotten attached and loves you. We all know when kids like a toy and you try to get rid of it, its very hard for them to let it go; imagine how hard it would be to let go a real live person. I don't think, for example, I could bare telling my God-daugther "Burrito" that I can't see her anymore for whatever reason. It would break my heart. (Yes, I have a heart peanut gallery) So imagine saying that to your now ex's child. It would hurt a great deal I would think.

Now please, don't get me wrong. I know its difficult for women with kids (and yes, men too) to find someone that can accept their children. My mom was a single mom and I would've felt horrible and been extremely upset if someone didn't want to date her just because of me. I know I'm a brat, but damn.  I also know there are plenty of women out there that wouldn't be at all bothered by a man having children and don't see it as an issue. And to those ladies I salute you! However I am not necessarily one of those women. Does that make me an ass-hole? Maybe to you, but at least I'm being honest. I know tons of woman who have told me horror stories and all I want to do is bless those poor dears with holy water, say a Hail Mary for them and slap 'em so they snap out of it.

When you think about it at my age, you have to deal with so many things in a relationship already. 1. A partner who's been traumatized but the woman before you. 2. A partner that may have already been married and is divorced. 3. A partner who doesn't want to grow up. 4. A partner who is MIA in the brain! (all topics for other blogs) etc. But then you throw kids into the mix? "I'm sorry this man is defective. I'd like to exchange him for a nice handbag & a sandwich." Listen, the Dating world really is a battle field. Some will survive and some will perish. You really have to have a thick skin; it's combat! So the moral of this story you ask? Stay single and get yourself a pet!...........Also, for the gentlemen out there that may be reading this, I'm not saying you all don't experience the same kind of nonsense or have similar feelings. But this is from a woman's point of view. You want a voice? Get your own blog :)

Happy Blogging All